20 May 2010

Update: Joe Collins Close To Nervous Breakdown

Today was tough. I'm not going to deny it. About 10 hours work done today at uni, pretty much all of it stood up in my work station animating. It was hot under the lights.
This film is really starting to get to me. I am both physically and mentally exhausted. My health also seems to be teetering on the edge. I seem to have acquired a black eye from somewhere too.
I keep 'spacing out' all the time as my mind wanders. I almost started crying today I think, for no real reason.
This is not fun. In no conceivable way is this fun or enjoyable anymore. I am very close to giving up. Though managed to blast out 16 shots today in a weird trance. This is both good and bad.
Though is it all any good? I don't know, not sure I'm too bothered. Will this film be appreciated? Will people understand the work that has gone into it? That everything you see on screen I spent months making? I doubt it. And its not as clean and nice as a Flash film so it will look shoddy. I hate it.
I didn't write this for people to try and cheer me up or whatever. I just want this feeling of almost despair recorded so possibly in the future I can look back and say it was all worth it. And I'm sure I'm not the only one like this either. Most of the rest of the class seem to be working flat out, and close to exhaustion too. We've got to all keep each other going now, we're into the last week. Any encouragement is good encouragement.
Good luck to you all. See you tomorrow.

God I sound like a pretentious indie/emo kid. Yay.


  1. Hang in there! I've totally had many days where I felt like this, but as you say yourself we come past them. If it's any consolation I am labouring for my final exams, but I really don't feel compelled to revise. But I agree; university takes it out of you. I now for the most part hate Philosophy and philosophers, and it's university that has done that to me.

    Just think of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, song 4. :)

    "If you're not on the edge, you're taking up too much room." Anonymous.

  2. Oh no Joe! Keep on going- it's going to look great! It will be worth it in the end, I'm sure everyone will think so!

  3. Cheers guys. It had been a really long day and I felt really down. Better now though I think...
    Thanks a lot!